There’s a few different categories of neighbours, aren’t there?

• The Silent Neighbour – the ones you just wave at across the street, or you nod to each other as you walk past, but you don’t really chat.
• There’s the three sentence weather report neighbour: “Beautiful Day.” / “Sure is.” / “Could do with some rain though.”
• There’s the “Over the Fence Neighbours” that you only chat with when you’re both in the backyard.
• There’s the Neighbourly Neighbours – those people in the street that always host the Christmas party or the New Years’ Drinks.
• Then there’s always the “Part of the furniture” neighbours, the old lady that has been there longer than anyone can remember – she’s the one who knows everything that’s going on in the street.
• (There’s also the Body Corporate Nazi who gives everybody grief about their renovations, or their washing line or their parking space, but we don't have to talk about them :-)

Have you ever become lifelong friends with your neighbours?  If so, how did it happen?

How does it work in your street, or unit block?

And does the street party still exist, where the whole street comes together for a BBQ?

For many of us, our relationships with our Fathers are somewhat more complex than the Greeting Card Slogans they churn out for Hallmark Holidays like Father’s Day.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had that kind of matey, mythologised Father and Son relationship where we go camping together, or spend the afternoon fishing and talking about the meaning of life. My relationship with my Dad is good, but it hasn’t been like that.

What was your relationship with your father like when you were young?  How has it changed over time?

Perhaps your relationship with your father has improved and mellowed with age, like a good wine.  (A friend was telling me that their stoic, authoritarian father has become more ‘huggy’ and affectionate as time has gone on.) Or perhaps you’ve grown apart.  Maybe there was a dramatic turning point in your relationship, brought on by tragedy or illness or the birth of a child. 

How has your relationship with your Father changed over the years?

• Should Margaret let go of the past and move on with her life?
• Is it right for Margaret to want to be reconciled with the man she loves or does she need to recognise that the relationship is over?
• Should Margaret tell her husband how she feels?  Should she ask him to come back?
  How can Margaret know for sure whether God has told her they’ll be reconciled or whether it’s just wishful thinking?
  

The new Jackie Chan and Jet Li movie The Forbidden Kingdombrings us the best of martial artists (i.e. Chan and Li) in a tale that will be vaguely familiar for all those who spent hours glued to the TV watching Monkey Magic (based on Buddhist mythology).  The Monkey King (played by Jet Li) has been imprisoned in stone for being, well, a cheeky monkey. Thankfully there’s a young lonely boy in real life Boston, named Jason (played by Michael Angarano) who finds himself attacked by bullies and mysteriously transported to ancient China. His mission? To return the magical staff of the monkey king, freeing him, defeating the jade warlord (Collin Chou) in the process.

To get there he needs a bit of help from his friends, notably a warrior monk, also played by Li, and an old drunk who just happens to be a kung fu master named Lu Yan (played by Jackie Chan). The movie is spiced up by the good guys’ lady companion, the feisty Sparrow Girl (played by Yifei Liu), and the wicked femme fatale Ni Chang (played by Li Bing Bing), who memorably gets her own way by using her bullwhip and her magic hair.

This film owes a lot to the themes in the Karate Kid films of the 80s, where the little scrawny kid masters the arts of self-defence to help others. There is also a strong debt to The Wizard of Oz, as the hero learns he needs to fulfil a quest to get back home. You almost expect young Jason to click his ruby red slippers and skedaddle back to Boston.

This is the first time Chan and Li have worked together, and they share great chemistry and some memorable fight sequences (and the odd sight gag). In fact these guys could spend the whole movie sparring and people would still pay to see it. There is a physical grace and dexterity to their performances, more than any great depth of characterisation (that kind of comes with the territory of Jackie Chan movies). As it is, the film's sparse plot allows for extensive and extensively-choreographed fight scenes.

The film's ladies also hold their own in mortal combat, with some impressive moves and the obligatory wire work. The movie is as good as it is because of fight choreographer Yuen Wo Ping, who set up the battles in so many huge films; all the Matrix movies, the Kill Bill films, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

The film's message is not highly significant. This kiddies'/teenyboppers' action film is 'philosophy lite', really, a bit like Diet Coke or Pepsi Minimum. There’s the odd reference to Buddhism and Zen and Jackie Chan tells his young mate at one stage : 'don’t think, just do’ That’s easy to say when you’re having a quiet chat but if someone is raining blows down on your noggin it might be a bit more difficult to zone out. There is a strong emphasis on loyalty and justice. Perhaps the film's biggest message is that revenge is a futile exercise that only rebounds on us; hurting us when we seek it.

The godlike character of the Jade Emperor finds some common ground between Christianity and Buddhism. The film speaks strongly on the importance of free will and making and honouring our own choices. Also, this character, in particular, resonates with Judeo-Christian theology in that the presence of 'God' is not separate from our lives, but in fact suffers alongside us.

The Forbidden Kingdom got a PG rating for ‘Martial arts violence and infrequent coarse language’. Admittedly it’s no bloodbath, but I don’t find it ‘mild’ when stuntmen, actors and makeup artists simulate shoving darts or arrows through people’s necks. I’d have preferred to see it with an M rating for mature audiences. That said, this is an hour and 45 mins of light entertainment, with some very skilful martial arts moves and some very graceful twirling on wires. Would make a good night out for the boys.

Open House film reviewer Barry Gittins is editor of On Fire magazine, and a regular reviewer for the Salvos' Warcry magazine: www.salvationarmy.org.au/warcry

Kara Martin

Jerry Spinelli is an award-winning author for teenagers, known for his witty dialogue, his mix of fantasy and realism, and his unforgettable characters. Stargirl is one of those characters. Stargirl chose her own name and changed it by deed poll. As the cover says she is: “as magical as the desert sky. As strange as her pet rat. As mysterious as her own name.”

Stargirl has been homeschooled, but decides she should give high school a go. She goes in true to herself: a dancing, ukulele-playing, rat-loving, colourful-dressing enigma. At first the other kids see her as a freak, but she wears them down with her cheerfulness and kindness and intelligence. She then becomes popular, although she wasn’t looking for that.

However the other students turn on her after she, as a cheerleader, congratulates the opposition basketball team on good play when they win. The narrator of the book, Leo, has fallen in love with her, but finds he has to make a choice, between Stargirl, and the rest of the school. He ends up trying to get both by telling her she must change, conform, fit in.

That is the crisis moment for the first book, and also sets the scene for the sequel. At first Stargirl tries to follow what Leo wants, but not being true to herself has terrible consequences for her identity and self-esteem, and for Leo. In the end, in a glorious moment, she chooses to be true, even if it means being unpopular, and losing the love of her life. In the second book, she examines her feelings for Leo, and the choices she made, as well as continuing to live her colourful life bring grace and joy into the lives of others.

I think the Stargirl books should be mandatory for teenagers! It is about identity and self-esteem being rooted in something other than consumerism and popularity. It exposes the whole cult of celebrity that is around us. It is a coming of age novel, about first love, and life choices. It speaks to that critical issue of “who am I apart from my parents and my peers” that confronts all teenagers. Both books are about bringing joy to others, and building community, and finding connections that are meaningful.

But do they communicate to teenagers? My teenage daughter said: “I really love these books because they aren’t like any other books. In all other books, the characters are normal people just like us, but Stargirl is different. She has a different opinion to everyone else on every single subject. She likes to make herself heard, whereas others would prefer just to stay in the corner. She gets out her ukulele at lunchtime in the Cafeteria and sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to whoever’s birthday it is.

“I also really enjoyed these books because the love is subtle and not ‘out there’ like other books, and is perfect in the amount of lovey-dovey stuff provided for the age group it’s written for. I was challenged by these two books to be creative in my opinion of life, and in the way I look after and care for others. I would definitely recommend these books to anyone, boy or girl, who loves a quirky read and enjoys reading about someone’s opinion on when they first fall in love.”

These are terrific books, creative, part real and part legend, wonderful values. They are an antidote to the apparent celebrity-obsessed, self-focused images of modern youth. I think reading these books would make us all think about the compromises we make to our true selves, to fit in or conform.

Open House book reviewer KARA MARTIN is a lecturer with Macquarie Christian Studies Institute (www.mcsi.edu.au), and is an avid reader and book group attendee.

• Is it inconsiderate to apply for a job that you can only do for a few months?  
• From the employer’s point of view, would you be happy to employ and train someone knowing they’re pregnant?  What if they don’t come back after they have the baby?
• Is it discrimination if somebody misses out on a position because they are pregnant?

She was quoted today as saying "I know you want a child, and you have every right to want a child, but does the child want you if you are going to put it in child care at six weeks? I don't think the child wants you, to tell the honest truth."

Today a representative of the Family Association responded by telling Sky News that families are finding it harder to keep one parent at home, because of the economic climate. 

Does that describe your situation?  If you have children, would you prefer to have a parent at home, but find it too difficult financially?  Or do you make sacrifices so that you can have a parent at home?  Do you survive on one income, even though it’s hard to make ends meet?

What do you think about Mem Fox’s claim that it’s an abuse for a six week old baby to be put in childcare? 

The Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) have tabled some new recommendations to prevent advertisers using TV characters to sell junk food to children.  Because if a product is promoted by the Wiggles, Bob the Builder or Bananas in Pajamas, kids want it.

ACMA are also recommending new restrictions on ‘premiums’ - the toys and other giveaways that are used to sell fast food.

What do you think about these advertising restrictions?  If you’re a parent, do you find it impossible to resist the nagging of your kids when they want the latest toy that comes wrapped in a hamburger?

Some parents’ groups, such as the Parent’s Jury, think these recommendations don’t go far enough.  They’d like to see all junk food advertising completely banned in children’s television programs. 

I’d like to know what you think.

• Are your children influenced by TV advertising?  Do they ask you for McDonalds or KFC when they see it advertised on TV?
• Is junk food advertising making our kids unhealthy?  Would your kids eat better if fast food ads were completely banned from kids programs?
• And what about those little toys that come with the hamburgers or the packet of chips?  Do they make junk food more attractive to children?

Senator Barnett's move comes as the Victorian Parliament soon debates a bill to decriminalise abortion in Victoria. This bill actually makes it quite easy to access late term abortions. 

It’s a difficult topic to discuss and one that can be quite distressing, but it’s a conversation we need to have. 

What do you think about Medicare funding being used for late-term abortions?  Do you agree with Senator Barnett that tax-payer dollars should not be used for that purpose?  Or could there be some circumstances where it’s for the best?

Do you think we provide enough support for women experiencing unwanted pregnancies?  Would women make different choices if they had more support?

If you’ve experienced an unplanned pregnancy then you may have found yourself in this terrible position.  What decision did you make and how do you feel about it now?  If you had your time again, would you do the same?

Leave your comment below.

For Information on the Bills:

www.guybarnett.com
www.makeastand.org.au

Do you need help to deal with an unplanned pregnancy?

Options Plus Care, Pregnancy Counselling Service, Victoria
Ph: (03) 9794 8922 for 24 hour counselling.

Lilly House offers accommodation and assistance for women in Queensland
Ph: (07) 4954 9693

Mercy Ministries
www.mercyministries.com.au
1800 011 537

Do you need help dealing with post-abortion grief?

Rebecca’s Vineyard Retreat
www.rachelsvineyard.org.au
1800 063 510

• How reliable are those ‘in love’ feelings?  Some people fall in and out of love every second week?  Do those feelings really mean anything? 
• Being in love can help you to overlook a person’s faults or bad habits… is that a positive thing in a marriage, or does it lead to incompatible partnerships?
• Can the feelings of being ‘in love’ really last anyway, or do they fade over time?
• If you’re not in love with your husband or wife, would that leave you more vulnerable to falling in love with someone else?