Phil is a volunteer leader at his local church’s Friday night youth group, and he wants to know if it’s OK to go out with a girl who’s in the youth group. She’s not a fellow leader, she’s just a member of the group.
There’s only a few years difference between them -- he’s 20 and she’s 17 -- but he’s apprehensive because of his position of leadership, and his responsibility to the people he’s leading.
At the same time, he really likes this girl and they have the same core values and beliefs.
It’s not like this is a teacher/pupil relationship…there aren’t any strict rules that apply…but what would be the right thing for Phil to do in this situation? Does it matter that he’s a youth group leader and that she’s a youth group member? If he did go out with her, would he be setting a good or bad example to the rest of the youth group? What if they broke up? If they went out would that be showing favouritism? If you were a parent of a teenager in the same youth group would you be OK with a leader dating another youth group member?
Is this a situation you’ve ever been in? What did you decide to do?
Comments (1)
It's wonderful that they have some core values that are the same, but in this situation there are so many different factors to consider:
1. The emotional, spiritual maturity of both the leader and the group member
2. The dynamics of the group relationship if the two were to get together
3. Parental and Church Leader approval
The main issue to consider is whether the young girl is growing in her understanding and love of God under his discipleship, if she is - this could potentially be very helpful for if-when they consider marriage. But in the here and now, I feel the two, in particular the male leader needs to present all these factors to the careful and prayerful consideration of all those in authority over them. With regards to their relationship there is everything to benefit from continuing to spend time with her within a group context to allow one another to see how each handles different group contexts. Further, if it is love and not infatuation - it will last the distance of at least a further 12 months.
Posted by Ella | October 1, 2007 12:37 PM
Posted on October 1, 2007 12:37