Phil is a volunteer  leader at his local church’s Friday night youth group, and he wants to know if it’s OK to go out with a girl who’s in the youth group. She’s not a fellow leader, she’s just a member of the group.

There’s only a few years difference between them -- he’s 20 and she’s 17 -- but he’s apprehensive because of his position of leadership, and his responsibility to the people he’s leading.

At the same time, he really likes this girl and they have the same core values and beliefs.

It’s not like this is a teacher/pupil relationship…there aren’t any strict rules that apply…but what would be the right thing for Phil to do in this situation? Does it matter that he’s a youth group leader and that she’s a youth group member? If he did go out with her, would he be setting a good or bad example to the rest of the youth group? What if they broke up? If they went out would that be showing favouritism? If you were a parent of a teenager in the same youth group would you be OK with a leader dating another youth group member?
Is this a situation you’ve ever been in? What did you decide to do?

A prominent story making the news this week was the story of the woman forced to endure a stillbirth in a toilet at Sydney’s Royal North Shore hospital, after waiting in the emergency ward for two hours. That story was followed by another almost identitcle to it, and that was followed by exerts saying most hospitals were struggling to cope--with a lack of resources and over-stretched staff.

What’s been your experience? Maybe you’ve been a patient waiting in an emergency ward; how long did you have to wait to be seen? Maybe you work in a hospital - I’d especially like to hear from you if you’re a doctor, nurse or some other kind of medical professional. What kind of conditions are you working under? Has your job become more stressful than it was say, a decade ago?

Ten years ago Joshua Harris wrote a best-selling book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Its approach to relationships and marriage was then seen as bold, provocative and (to some) completely alien! Now, hear Harris himself say whether he still believes what he wrote, and whether the dating game should be given away altogether.

And loud music from the neighbours at night and queue-jumping at the checkouts, we’ll talk to the author who says that courtesy, chivalry and manners aren’t just social niceties, but essential to civilisation.

Since talking with Lyn Denton last Sunday about her experience of childhood sexual abuse, we've had lots of enquiries (and suggestions) of where further help can be found. Here is a starting point for finding a professional counsellor to guide you to recovery. Please note that Open House does not necessarily endorse these organisations. They are provided for your research.

• Christian Wholeness Centre - Brisbane
• Salvation Army Counseling Services
• Careforce Recovery Programs
• Ellel Ministries - Prayer-based Counseling

Further contacts can be attained by calling:

• Heart 103.2's Care 4U Line - Sydney - 02 8736 3232
• 89.9 Light FM's Careline - Melbourne - 03 9583 2273
• Lifeline - 13 11 14

It was a terrible start to the bushfire season this week. At one stage this week—Wednesday—there were up to 40 fires burning in New South Wales. One home was destroyed, at least one other was damaged, and dozens of people were forced to evacuate.

It got me thinking: if I had to leave my home in a hurry, of all my possessions what is the most valuable to me and why?

Now for this exercise we must assume that family members, pets and photos are well and truly safe.

I want to hear about the interesting things in your life that hold a special significance to you--that you’d be devastated to lose. Maybe it’s something very old that’s been passed down from generation to generation – a war medal? Some jewelry? A wedding dress? Maybe you’d be devastated to lose your music collection. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something expensive…just something significant….and preferably something that has a bit of a story behind it.

If family and pets were safe, what one thing would you wish to save from a burning house?

This week’s dilemma is a uniquely online problem, concerning the social networking website Facebook and other sites like it.

Basically the website is a way of keeping up with the people around you: friends and family overseas, that sort of thing. You can upload photos of yourself and what you’ve been up to - and all your friends can see them. Friends can write messages on your ‘wall’ and you can write back – and everyone in your network can see it.

The way that you form your friend network is either by accepting someone’s email request to be their friend – or by sending a request to someone you know – asking them to confirm that they are in fact your friend.

Our dilemma tonight is from Sally – she got a ‘friend’ request from someone she went to primary school with years ago. She doesn’t feel that she knows this person anymore, and doesn’t feel as though they were even friends when they were at school.

She doesn’t really want to share her online life with this person – but she doesn’t want to hurt this person’s feeling either, by rejecting the friendship request.

What should Sally do?

DISCUSSION POINTS:

• Are friends on social networking sites really ‘friends’ in the true sense of the word? Or is it more a case of just building up the number of friends you have, regardless of whether you’re really their friend? If you use the site do you consider every one of your ‘friends’ – to actually be a real friend?
• Is it possible to reject someone politely? Or is that an oxymoron?
• Should Sally get over herself and just accept him?
  

West Australian graduate teachers are set to become among the highest paid in the country – after the state’s government announced a lucrative new package.

Graduates will receive a $50,000 starting wage from 2008 – with some able to earn up to $70, 000 when taking up rural positions. WA’s education Minister Mark McGowan will be visiting Tasmania and Victoria this week - to try and attract teachers from those states to take up the generous offer. Minister McGowan says teaching needs to remain competitive against other professions.

What do you think? For a starting salary of 50 grand – and up to 70 grand in some cases - would you relocate to WA and become a teacher? What about in your own state? Do you think teachers receive the financial recognition they deserve?

Maybe you’ve dropped out of the teaching profession. Was it due to the stress of the job or the pay? In the end, is the teacher shortage in most states a matter of finances, working conditions, or something else?

Earlier this year, New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd was in Australia talking about her book, Are Men Necessary? At one event in Sydney, Dowd and an interviewer walked on stage, took their seats and settled in to discuss their topic. Soon into the conversation though, a voice from the audience asked if a podium could be moved that was blocking the view. As the interviewer got up from her chair, two men leapt from the front row and on to the stage. The audience broke into laughter as they watched the men heave the heavy podium, which carried a large poster with the words, ‘Are Men Necessary?’ The interviewer sat down and said, ‘I think the question has been answered.’

This year we’ve heard some loud voices proclaim the wonders of atheism, the irrationality of belief, and the nonsense of divine matters. In their own words, authors like Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris have posed the question: ‘Is God Necessary?’ And as I ponder Maureen Dowd’s experience, I wonder if the ironic twist is that as the armchair debates take place, God is already on the stage answering the question by His actions.

‘Is God necessary?’ the critic asks—when his very words are spoken with breath that God has given. ‘There is no God,’ says the atheist—as he bathes in sunshine and drinks up rain that God has provided. ‘I’m living fine without God,’ says the humanist—not realising that his place of birth was determined by God (Acts 17:26) and that every hair on his head has been counted (Matthew 10:30).

‘God is the cause of all evil,’ some say. And yet we benefit from hospitals, aged-care homes and charities—all created in the name of God. ‘God is a crutch for the emotionally weak,’ others claim. And yet He inspired Wilberforce, Luther-King, and other gutsy reformers who fought slavery and racism, and outlawed things like infanticide and gladiatorial combat. ‘God is dead,’ wrote Nietzsche. And yet how many times has that God leapt on to the stage when we’ve been in a spot of bother?

Many years ago two men were walking along a dusty road, talking about God. As they walked a third person joined them. They didn’t recognise this person’s face, but his words set their hearts beating. They urged him to stay a little longer, and then over dinner their eyes were miraculously opened. The stranger turned out to be Jesus.

I’m glad the swag of atheistic books being released at the moment is stimulating discussion. But wouldn’t it be ironic if, as we debated the existence of God, he turned out to be walking right beside us? Or already on the stage helping out?

May our eyes be opened. 

© 2007 Sheridan Voysey is a writer, speaker, broadcaster and author of Unseen Footprints: Encountering the divine along the journey of life (Scripture Union, 2005). www.thethoughtfactory.net

What kind of apology do you look for when someone’s wronged you? Remorse, restitution, or a simple ‘I’m sorry’? Join me this Sunday to learn the five languages of apology and discover how they can be used to bring reconciliation at the personal, racial and even international level.

We’ll also review the new John Travolta flick Hairspray, talk the 15 year old who’s working to abolish slavery, and remember the Bali tragedy five years on.

I want to hear about a time in your life when your actions didn’t match your age—when you did something somewhat different to what your peers were doing around you.

• We spoke to Zach Hunter earlier tonight – the 15 year old abolitionist who’s started a campaign in the US to bring about an end to modern day slavery. Maybe you’ve done something like that yourself?
• Maybe you were a teenager and you feel like you missed the best of your teen years
• because you had to care for younger siblings or maybe even parents…
• Maybe you were a super-mature child who preferred the company of adults.
• Maybe you’re just a really immature father and you’ve never grown out of playing practical jokes.
• Maybe you’re 40 and you’ve got a star wars figurines collection.
• Maybe went sky-diving as an 60 year old.

Tell me about a time – or a story – where your actions didn’t match your age.

What do you do when your parents don’t like your boyfriend—because of the job he does? That’s this week’s everyday dilemma, from Sue. Apparently her parents disapprove of her beau because he’s a carpenter.

Sue says her parents want the best for her – and therefore would prefer her to be with a doctor / lawyer / engineer or accountant. Apparently it’s not about the money, but the societal prestige.

Sue is a pharmacist herself, and is upset that her parents don’t like the person she loves. She says her parents have disapproved of a past boyfriend because he wasn’t at uni.

According to Sue, her parents haven’t made much effort to get to know her current boyfriend., so what should she do?

• Should occupation influence whether two people are suitable for each other?
• How important is it to have your parents ‘blessing’ in a relationship?
• Should Sue wait patiently for her parents to change their opinion of her boyfriend, or should she ignore them? 
• How can she show her parents that it doesn’t matter what her boyfriend does for a living?
• Did your parents approve of your partner? What happened? Did you go out with someone they liked…or did they eventually come around to see things from your perspective?
  

What do you think about Prime Minister John Howard’s dramatic turnaround on indigenous reconciliation this week?

There’s a general acknowledgement that past injustices against Indigenous Australians have a real legacy today. The issue is whether an apology should be offered to them.

Mr Howard says a national apology would take the nation backwards by reinforcing a culture of victimhood? As he said to a journalist this week, we can say we’re ‘sorry’ about someone’s plight in empathy, but apologising means assuming responsibility. And this generation isn’t responsible for the past injustices against indigenous Australians.

Would a national apology from the Prime Minister take Australia forwards or backwards?

FOR CONSIDERATION:
• Indigenous groups say reconciliation will not be achieved unless Mr Howard apologises on behalf of non indigenous Australia for past injustices, like the Stolen generations.
• Reconciliation Australia and other groups say a ‘sorry’ is an important part of the reconciliation process.
• Howard says millions of Australians see nothing to apologise for
• Many Australians are ‘sorry’ about past mistreatment, but will not assume responsibility for it.
• Howard says that saying sorry encourages a culture of ‘victimhood.’

What do you think?

Join me this week for a rare conversation with novelist Katherine Patterson. Author of many books, Katherine is best known for her award-winning Bridge to Terabithia, which recently hit the big screen for the second time. You’ll hear about Katherine’s formation as a writer, her years as a missionary in Japan, and how she developed her creative imagination.

Also, what the TV parenting programs get right—and wrong.

In our interview this week, author Katherine Paterson talked about growing up as a white missionary kid in China, wearing hand me down clothes and speaking Chinese while living in America. She stood out. Or more to the point, she didn't fit in. She was on the outside.

But as a result of being on the outer, Katherine found seclusion in the library, and that's where she began to read--and fired her creativity and imagination, and that led to her writing award-winning fiction.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. You’ve been an outsider for a period of time, but it resulted in an unexpected benefit. It caused you to see things differently, it gave you an objectivity you wouldn’t otherwise have had, it gave you a greater empathy for others.

You could've been an outsider in the workplace, at school, at church or even in a different culture overseas. What were the unexpected benefits of being on the outside?

This week’s dilemma is about a secret – and whether or not to tell.

Jenny’s dilemma relates to a couple she knows well. She’s been friends with them for some years – she went to school with the couple’s son.

Here’s Jenny’s dilemma: this couple are grandparents but they don’t know it.
Their son secretly fathered a child with his girlfriend 20 years ago. They split up shortly after the pregnancy; his parents never met the girlfriend and have never been told about the child.

Jenny’s caught in the middle, and she wants to know from you whether it’s her responsibility to tell her elderly friends that they have a grandchild that they don’t know about.

DISCUSSION POINTS:

• Is it Jenny’s responsibility to speak in this situation, or could she just dig up things that don’t need to be dug up?
• How important is it that grandparents know about their grandchildren?
• What about the mother, and the grandchild themselves?
• If the son refuses to tell his parents, should Jenny?

Give Jenny your advice.

The Coalition has accused the Labor Party of being too union-heavy, saying that up to 70% of its MPs are former union bosses. Industrial Relations Minister Joe Hckey said that unions were ‘irrelevant’ to Australian workers, and declared their role to be ‘essentially over’ becasue of declining membership.

What do you think – do you think unions in Australia are irrelevant? Or is there still a place for them? Do you care that the Labor party has ties to the union movement?

High profile asbestos campaigner Bernie Banton certainly believes unions are still relevant. He says that without the unions, he would not have been able to successfully secure $1.4 billion compensation from construction giant James Hardie, on behalf of asbestos sufferers. Joe Hockey later conceded that unions are relevant in cases like that, when they work for the interest of their members. But union membership has fallen to include only 20 per cent of Australian workers. Mr Hockey says workers are now getting protection from the Workplace Authority and the Workplace Ombudsman.

Are you a member of a union? Has it helped you resolve a workplace dispute? Or do you agree with the minister that unions are irrelevant? Tell us what you think.

Could movie-makers—perhaps without even realising it—capture something of God in their films? That’s what author and film critic Jeffrey Overstreet believes. In fact, he says that’s what sets timeless films apart from the others. Jeffrey will join us this week to talk about finding God in the cinema.

Plus, we’ll take a peak at the technology of tomorrow and where it will take us, and talk to the man described as the ‘father of modern worship music’—Graham Kendrick.

In the 1980s we were told robots would be doing our washing up. What happened? Well, they're certainly around. As Gary Brown mentioned on Open House this week, robots are raising more questions for us than ever.

Here are some articles to help you explore what they are doing now, and what they might be like.

• Armed Robots in Iraq: http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/12/65885
• Japanese Nursing home robot rejected, would be except humanoid robots?:  http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUST29547120070920?feedType=RSS&feedName=technologyNews  
• Closest human like robot we have walking around right now, check it out on youtube...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLGk9Q49y7k
• Spying Insect Robots: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/10/11/1191696075903.html (great for the conspiracy theorists!)  

Have you ever seen a film that has revealed something of God to you? Film critic Jeffrey Overstreet told us that we can "glimpse transforming truth through the beauty of art - if we put aside fear and judgement and look with ‘eyes to see’." Which films have spoken to, challenged you or changed you? Which films have shown you something of God, something of goodness, something about spirituality or the Christian faith?

Maybe ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ gave you a greater appreciation of freedom. Maybe the ‘Wizard of Oz’ taught you something about following a certain path in life. Maybe you watched ‘Titanic” and had a feeling that life is unpredictable and to be ready!

The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Schindler’s List, A Space Odyssey… the list of great films goes on and on. But  is there one film that’s had a particular impact on you?

Our dilemma this week is from Anne – but I think it’s one that a lot of people can relate to.

Anne is feeling the pressure of two generations and a busy life. She has adult children still living at home – and an elderly mother – both of whom require her care and attention. Anne works full time, balancing housework and church commitments when she’s not at work.

But it's her elderly mother who is the major concern. She lives alone and is needing more and more care. Anne says she does as much as she can to help her mother, but it never seems to be enough. Her mother needs help around the home and with paying bills – as well as companionship. Anne feels that while she has very little time, her mother has plenty of time that she needs filled, which adds to the burden.

Anne’s dilemma is this – how can she ever find time for herself amidst the busyness of life? When she does have a free moment, she feels as though she should be spending more time with her mother. At what point should she say ‘enough’ and let go of other people’s needs? How do you establish boundaries when it comes to needy family members and your time, without hurting anyone in the process?

Children in New South Wales have to wait until they’re 14 before they’re allowed to put on their boxing gloves and step into the ring for a fight. That’s not the case in other states – where children as young as ten are allowed to start competitive boxing.

What do you think about that? Is boxing a sport children as young as 10 should participate in?

Kids in New South Wales say it’s unfair that they have to wait until they’re older – because children in other states get four more years of boxing experience than they do. Apparently, if you want to be counted amongst the world’s best, you have to start as young as possible; some say around 8 or 9.

The Australian Medical Association says the sport is dangerous – and risky – for any children, let alone boys under the age of 14.

Proponents of the sport say it's helping kids stay off the streets and provides discipline. To minimise harm, young boxers are categorised by age and weight and there are safety procedures in place during the fight, such as wearing protective head gear.

But I still can't hekp but feel children shouldn't be doing a sport that results in injury to opponents.

What do you think? 

When Hugh McKay last dropped by he told us the pursuit of perfection was ruining our marriages and that Australia was becoming impatient towards children. Join me this week for part two of the conversation, as Australia’s foremost social researcher portrays the nation we’re becoming and what our future could be. He’ll even talk about a new species he calls the ‘New Bloke’!

And 150 years ago Henry David Thoreau said the majority of men live lives of quiet desperation. We’ll be talk about male mid-life crisis and the questions to ask now to avoid it.