This week’s dilemma is from Melinda, who says her husband is becoming verbally abusive, and is getting worse.

She’s a Christian, and says as a result of the abuse, she’s starting to lose her own values, faith and personality.

She wants to know whether or not she should stay with her husband.

• Melinda wants to hear from any other Christians who’ve been in a similar position. What did you end up doing? What do you think Melinda should do?
• She also wants some thoughts on what God’s view on this kind of relationship is.

There’s been a lot of talk of protest this week…Sydney will be in lockdown with the APEC summit starting today and protestors and police still unable to agree on the precise protest march route through Sydney’s CBD.
 
Meantime in Melbourne, two men were arrested on Friday for protesting outside a court hearing into violence at last year’s G20 summit, where of course, there was a massive turnout of protestors. Also on Friday, protestors used trucks and tractors to stop the state’s premier, John Brumby, from leaving the site where he made an announcement about water, because they were unhappy about a plan to pipe water from Goulburn to Melbourne.

It got us thinking here at Open House, does protest ever achieve change? Do you think protest works? Have you ever taken part in a protest or demonstration?

The Oxford dictionary definition of protest as: “a statement or action expressing disapproval or objection. 2 an organized public demonstration objecting to an official policy or course of action.”

Maybe in your student days you took part in a protest. What was the cause? And in hindsight do you think it made a difference?

I want to hear about the full spectrum of protest. It could be anything from writing a letter to the newspaper about something you felt passionate about, to walking across the Sydney Harbour Bridge for Reconciliation Day, to actually taking part in an organised group protest or demonstration.

Maybe you would NEVER take part in a protest. I want to hear from you too.

On Open House this Sunday the band that started off as a three-piece in the garage and became a Grammy-nominated, Dove award-winning five-piece with hits like Dare You To Move and Made to Live. They are Switchfoot, and John Foreman and Chad Butler will be in to talk music, faith and the ephemeral American dream.

And the paradoxical commandments—a list of motivational sayings that have circled the globe and inspired millions. For years they’ve been anonymous. Now meet the man who wrote them.

A few weeks back you might remember me talking about a friend of mine whose brother was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Cameron is his name, and he’s just 33-years-old. Six months ago he began feeling pain and losing strength in his arms and neck. He’s begun radiotherapy and has been journaling his highs and lows on a blog-site.

One of his entries is titled ‘It’s so unfair’. This is what he says:

“The word ‘unfair’ has come up a lot recently. Years ago I use to repeat the quote ‘The only fair thing in life is that life is unfair to everyone’… I don’t quote this anymore because I don’t believe life is unfair to everyone. But it has been really unfair to me.

“I have a wonderful wife, and there is no amount of space in webpage history where I could write enough to do her justice. Likewise, my family is incredible. I have been given a family that has stopped to surround me and support me with no boundaries. My Dad is helping me with my work, Mum is prepared to do her usual everything to make my life as rich as possible, and my sisters continue to show me love through all circumstances.

“I have friends that have sacrificed a lot to look after me, prepared meals for me, offered to be by my side in minutes if I need them, and comforted me when things have got tough.

“I have a warm and comfortable home, a comfortable bed, a fridge bursting with food, a warm jacket for the winter and air-conditioning for the summer. I eat more than my three meals a day and go out way more than I should.

“This is so unfair.

“It is unfair because I have received all these things without justification. To get through some aspects of my life I have been a real [idiot]. I have lied, cheated, stolen, been dishonest and cruel. I have treated people badly in relationships, rudely dismissed people’s care for me, spoken badly about people, made fun of others’ misfortune and been disloyal. I have broken promises, thrown generosity back in people’s faces and avoided helping others in need…

“It is so unfair that I should be enjoying such a rich life when I have done stupid things in the past, and may do them in the future too. It is unfair that many of the people that I have treated poorly in the past are the ones that demonstrate their care for me now…

“In the last few years I have given God very little time. I haven’t prayed much, haven’t read much of the bible, I don’t like singing churchy songs, I feel nauseous in churchy bookstores, I haven’t gone out of my way to participate in anything that would convince the world that there is a God… [And yet] In the middle of my indifference and scepticism, irreverence and attitude, I completely and profoundly feel treasured.

“Now that’s unfair.”

What a refreshing perspective on life from one who may lose it. What a reminder of grace – that we are all recipients of gifts that we can never claim to have deserved. And what a reminder of gratitude – being thankful in all things. You can keep up with Cameron’s journey through cancer at www.thewalkbeside.com

© 2007 Sheridan Voysey is a writer, speaker, broadcaster and author of Unseen Footprints: Encountering the divine along the journey of life (Scripture Union, 2005). www.thethoughtfactory.net

Have you ever had a moment when you’ve lacked direction or purpose? You might have all the outward appearance of being a successful human being…the late-model car, the house, a loving family, nice holidays…but have you ever stopped and wondered what it’s all for?

Have you ever thought ‘there’s something missing in my life” – but haven’t quite been able to put your finger on what that thing was? If that’s you, how have you tried to fill that void? What sorts of things did you try?

• Maybe you bought a flight, packed your bags and saw the world
• Maybe you adopted a child
• Maybe you turned to drugs
• Maybe you went to church
• Maybe you resigned from your high paying city job and went to work for a charity

Kirsty and I decided to run this as an Open Up topic after hearing about a former colleague who quit their high-paying job, flew overseas and joined a charity. When asked why it was said of them ‘to fill the void’.

Have you ever felt there was something missing in your life, and what did you do about it?

Rebecca is in her late twenties and has been with her boyfriend for around the last year and a half. She’s starting to feel pressure from her family and friends to marry her boyfriend, and finds it awkward when she’s around elderly aunties who ask them both when they’re going to tie the knot. She laughs it off each time, but the compound effect of everyone asking all the time is starting to wear her down.

What should she do?

Should she continue to laugh off the suggestions...or should she tell family members the truth…that she doesn’t like to be asked so constantly about whether or not she’ll marry her boyfriend? She doesn’t want to offend these family members, who obviously care about her and her future.

How do you respond when people say 'when are you two getting married?!'?

The new Channel 10 show Californication has been causing outrage in some sections of the community, for its gratuitous displays of sex that have even been labelled ‘pornographic’ by some commentators.

There’s been a range of responses to the show so far…

• A group of Catholics have been meeting outside the Channel Ten studios in Sydney each time the show is broadcast, holding a silent prayer vigil. Father John Fongemie, from the Material Heart Catholic Church in Sydney’s Lewisham says he – and others – will continue gathering on Monday nights outside the Ten studios for the next month.
• The Australian Christian Lobby has called for disgruntled viewers to boycott the show, by not buying the products advertised throughout the show. So far, two advertisers have pulled out – Holden and Holeproof. Another sponsor, Lion Nathan, said it was happy for its Tooheys New ads to continue to be played. Other sponsors said they were unaware their ads had been playing during the show.
•  The Australian Christian Lobby is also calling for the government to play a greater role in determining the guidelines that regulate free to air television, rather than television executives.
• Maybe you’ve responded to the show simply by turning it off…or not watching it in the first place.
• However others argue that some sort of action does need to be taken – that while it’s all well and good for people who disapprove of the show to switch off….there are other people out there in society watching the program…and the fact that a show like this is even on television has an impact on society as a whole. And the kind of society we live in.

What do you think is the most effective way of responding to a show like this? How do you respond when there’s something on TV that you don’t necessarily agree with? Or television shows that you don’t think should even be on TV in the first place? Ignore it? Switch it off? Or something a bit more dramatic?

Join me this Sunday as we discover what really happens when young women pick up those glossy magazines. What do the researchers say are the results on their health and wellbeing? We’ll talk to author Melinda Tankard-Reist on how hyper-sexualised images in our media are creating a toxic culture for women and girls, and what to do about it.

Plus, the latest in music and film, another everyday dilemma, the complex experience of inter-faith marriage, and what we might be able to expect in heaven.

This week’s dilemma is from Christina, who says she doesn’t know what to do to encourage her partner to stop smoking marijuana.

Apparently Christine’s boyfriend was able to come off marijuana for a year…but has started using it again in the last six months.

Christina has been living with her boyfriend and his parents for the last 2 years – and has recently become a Christian (in the last three weeks in fact).

She wants her boyfriend to stop because she knows it’s bad for his brain. In fact, since being back on pot Christina says he doesn’t talk to her as much – preferring to just sit and watch TV. He can also get verbally abusive at times.

Christina's boyfriend doesn’t see any reason to stop smoking marijuana. Christina wants to know the most effective to convince and encourage him to stop. Have you ever been upset when someone close to you has been addicted to a drug? How did you go about convincing them to stop? Did it work?

I wonder what you made of the story this week that a 12 year old girl has become the face of a Gold Coast Fashion festival. Prime Minister John Howard, Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd, Queensland Premier Anna Bligh and child protection advocates have all raised their voices on the matter, saying 12 year olds are too young to be on the catwalk.

And I have to agree with them.

Maddison Gabriel (who turns 13 today), won the opportunity to host the inaugural Gold Coast Fashion Week on Wednesday. Maddison’s mother, and organisers of the Gold Coast event, have countered concerns about Maddison’s youth by saying she is mature for her age, that she won’t be modeling any swimwear or lingerie, that 13 year old girls buy clothes from adult stores anyway, and that Maddison will be 14 by the time she represents the fashion week next year. (It must be said, though, that Maddison modeled a gown at a cocktail party connected with the event last night.)

What’s interesting about this whole scenario is that even more liberally-minded countries like France and Italy have enforced a minimum age of 16 for models hitting the catwalk. The British Fashion Council has announcing models aged 15 years or younger should not be allowed to enter the London Fashion Week—one of the world's most famous fashion events. And another British inquiry this week recommended that models provide "health certificates" from doctors to prove they don't have an eating disorder. At the very least these moves abroad show the danger inherent in the modelling industry to young women.

Prime Minister John Howard has said he’d support a ban on girls under the age of 16 involved in modelling. I agree, because the following questions need to be addressed:

1. What message does a 12 year old model say to other 12 year old girls? As we’ll hear from Melinda Tankard-Reist soon, young girls are already being forced to grow up too quickly. This isn’t just about a young Queensland girl being able to live her dream; it’s about a multitude of 12, 11 and 10 year old girls wanting to follow in her footsteps.
   
2. Gold Coast Fashion Week organisers say Maddison wont be modelling swimwear or lingerie. But how long will it be before she’s asked? Only a few years ago there was public outrage over a 15 year old girl model who was pictured in sexually suggestive poses with an 18 year old boy for a jeans company.
   
3. Thirdly, what’s the rush? I don’t think too many girls will suffer if they have to wait to reach age 16 before entering a fashion competition.
   
4. And finally, what does it say about us as a nation when we want to set up a child as an object of desire? A good deal of modelling is about arousing desire—at the very least a desire to buy the clothes that will give ‘the look’ the model is portraying. How have we gotten to the stage where a barely-pubescent girl is considered the standard of fashion for adults?

Of course, these same questions could be asked about 16 year olds on the catwalk too. But until we adults sort ourselves out, a ban on models under 16 should be a minimum response. Our children will be the victims should we do nothing.

© 2007 Sheridan Voysey is a writer, speaker, broadcaster and author of Unseen Footprints: Encountering the divine along the journey of life (Scripture Union, 2005). www.thethoughtfactory.net

Both Kevin Rudd and Peter Costello have said this week that they want to limit the effects of gambling on Australians. Mr Rudd says state governments shouldn’t rely so heavily on the money generated by poker machines around the country, and Mr Costello says there shouldn’t be so many of them. Both figures have expressed concern over the impact gambling has on individuals and families.

But how can an industry that state governments have come to rely on as a steady form of income be reformed?

• Do you think the Federal government should step in and play a role in limiting the state’s reliance on gambling revenue?

• Do you think reducing the number of poker machines would really have an impact on curbing Australia’s gambling addiction?

• Have you ever been addicted to pokies? If there had been less of them around would it have made a difference for you? Or is the addiction so strong that you would have just found another way to gamble anyway?

It’s time to assess the state of our nation, and this week on Open House we’re going to take Australia’s pulse with respected researcher and commentator Hugh Mackay. Where are we going, how have we changed, and why—amongst unprecedented levels of prosperity—are we still battling anxiety, depression, record levels of debt, and a sense of meaninglessness?

And blessed are the uncool! We’ll talk to the author who says pursuing the trendy and hip is costing us more than we realise.

Is there anything you can do when you think your parents are about to break up?

That’s 14 year old Brian’s dilemma this week.

He wants to know if there's anything he can or should be doing to stop that happening.
 
He says his parents – who’ve been together for 28 years - don't talk to each other much, and don’t enjoy spending time with each other anymore. In the past they’ve had massive arguments that have ended in reconciliation and promises to give each other another chance. But this time Brian fears they're not going to be able to sort out their differences—he worries they’re heading for divorce.
 
He wants to know if there's any advice he can pass onto his parents in order for them to stay together.

• As a child of fighting/divorced parents, how do you get through it?
• Is there anything you can even do as a child to prevent your parents splitting up?
• Is Brian taking on too much responsibility for his parent's situation?

We’ll be chatting to psychologist and social commentator Hugh McKay in our second hour. In his new book “Advance Australia Where?” he says the great Australian dream is indeed changing, pointing out that many people are now choosing to rent as a deliberate lifestyle decision, bypassing the idea of owning a house.

It’s coming at a time when buying a house costs between six and seven times the annual average income. A decade ago it was closer to four times the annual average income.

Do you think the so called ‘Australian dream’ of owning a property is attainable? Or is this now an unrealistic dream?

Maybe you’ve decided that renting for the rest of your life makes sense – or is the only option – for you.

Maybe you wanted to buy a house with a lawn and backyard but have settled instead for an apartment with a communal garden.

What does the great Australian dream mean for you? And do you have any hope of achieving it?

Have you ever attempted to make a deal with God? What drove you to do that? And what happened?

Have you ever been so desperate for something that you prayed to God and said you’d do something it he answered your prayer?

There’s the story of Hannah in the Old Testament in the Bible. She was barren and yet so desperate to have a child she prayed and told God that if he’d let her have a son, she’d let him devote his life to the Temple:

“O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life”

Hannah gave birth to Samuel, who did go on to devote his life to God, becoming a prophet for Israel.

Or have you ever been in such great need of forgiveness that you called out to God and said you’d do something for him if only he would forgive you?

Or have you ever done something that made you so ashamed and caused so much hurt that you asked God to reverse the situation in return for you taking some kind of action in your life?
 
I want to hear whether you’ve ever attempted to make a deal with God and what the outcome of that deal was.

For years, most people would’ve thought Lyn Denton had it all—a strong marriage, 4 sons, 12 grandchildren. But inside, Lyn carried deep pain from a decade of childhood sexual abuse. This week on Open House Lyn will tell her story, describe her journey of healing, and take your calls.

We’ll also review Evan Almighty, and hear how forgiveness is transforming terrorist-affected Indonesian villages—some dramatic stories there. So, do join me this Sunday!